Documents: draft-ietf-nsis-threats-05
           draft-ietf-nsis-fw-06
From: Mary Barnes
Date: 24 september 2004 


Summary: 
-------- 

Both drafts are ready to publish as Informational with the correction of the following editorial nits. 

Nits (nsis-threats): 
-------------------- 

- Section 3.1:Ê There's a formatting problem in this section with the
 identation OR the phrase "following two cases:" on the top of page 10
 should read "following three cases:"

- Section 3.1:Ê First paragraph following the idented parts (page 11),
  beginning with "Finally, we conclude a description".Ê The word
  "conclude" needs to be changed to "include" or "conclude with".

 - Section 3.1: Page 11, Last paragraph, last sentence.Ê "A malicious
   NSIS can be detected..." needs to change to "A malicious NSIS node
   can be detected..."

- Section 4.10: Page 24.Ê Reference to "Figure 3" should be "Figure
  4".



Nits (nsis-fw): 
--------------- 

- Abstract: It's longer than the guidelines recommendation of typically
5-10 lines, butÊ no more than 20 lines. I would suggest a change from:

 Ê "The Next Steps in Signaling working group is considering protocols 
ÊÊ for signaling information about a data flow along its path in the 
ÊÊ network.Ê Based on existing work on signaling requirements, this 
ÊÊ document proposes an architectural framework for such signaling 
ÊÊÊ protocols. 

ÊÊ This document provides a model for the network entities that take 
ÊÊ part in such signaling, and the relationship between signaling and 
ÊÊ the rest of network operation.Ê We decompose the overall signaling 
ÊÊ protocol suite into a generic (lower) layer, with separate upper 
ÊÊ layers for each specific signaling application.Ê An initial proposal 
ÊÊ for the split between these layers is given, describing the overall 
ÊÊ functionality of the lower layer, and discussing the ways that upper 
ÊÊ layer behavior can be adapted to specific signaling application 
ÊÊ requirements. 

ÊÊ This framework also considers the general interactions between 
ÊÊ signaling and other network layer functions, specifically routing, 
ÊÊ mobility, and address translators.Ê The different events that impact 
ÊÊ signaling operation are described, along with how their handling 
ÊÊ should be divided between the generic and application-specific 
ÊÊ layers.Ê Finally, an example signaling application (for Quality of 
  Service) is described in more detail." 



to (adding the second sentence for clarity) and removing alot of unnecessary detail: 
   "The Next Steps in Signaling working group is considering protocols 
   for signaling information about a data flow along its path in the 
   network. The NSIS suite of protocols is envisioned to support various 
   signaling applications that need to install and/or manipulate state 
   in the network. Based on existing work on signaling requirements, this 
   document proposes an architectural framework for such signaling 
   protocols.  

    This document provides a model for the network entities that take 
   part in such signaling, and the relationship between signaling and 
   the rest of network operation.  We decompose the overall signaling 
   protocol suite into a generic (lower) layer, with separate upper 
   layers for each specific signaling application." 

- Section 2 Terminology - Signaling application.  I think the term
  "service" should be "signaling application" ?

 - Section 3.2.6 - Per the statement in 3.1.2 that path de-coupled is
   out of scope at this time, it would be useful to re-iterate that
   the information in this section is provided for completeness and to
   capture for future reference. I would suggest adding a statement
   something like the following to the beginning of this section:

 "Although, support of path de-coupled operation is not part of the
 initial goals of this NSIS Framework, this section is included for
 completeness and to caputure some initial considerations for future
 reference."

- Section 5.1.2: last paragraph, page 36. Change "traffic))" to
  "traffic)"