Document: draft-ietf-mip6-ro-sec-02.txt 
Trigger: IESG telechat 17 Feb 2005
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
AD: Thomas Narten
Review Date: 16 Feb 2005

Intended status: Informational

Summary: Taken in isolation this is a good, if somewhat discursive document.  I 
think it has a number of language nits which are rather numerous to list here (I 
will mail the authors privately with suggestions).  That being said, I had 
expected somewhat more of a 'design diary': in practice the great majority of 
the document is either about the security threats for MIP(v6) or the actual (RR) 
solution chosen rather than about other possibilities which were ruled out.  
There are useful notes on design criteria for avoidance of reflection and 
amplification attacks, but I felt that much of this document was duplicating 
RFC3775 (description of RR and security considerations) with some expansion of 
discussion.  Now if the threat analysis is actually duplicating RFC3775, it 
could probably be omitted:  On the other hand this draft is actually referenced 
in RFC3775 as providing additional detail for certain things.  If this is really 
a more definitive document for the threat analysis there would be something to 
be said for either retitling the document to reflect this or possibly splitting 
it into true threat analysis and a much smaller document on the design 
background.  

Review (nits):
Figures: I would prefer figures to have explicit captions rather than just 
'Figure n'
Sections 1.1 and 4.2: contain lists which would be more readable if the items 
had bullets to show the boundaries of the items.
Title of Section 2: 'Dimensions of Danger' is a resonant phrase but it didn't 
quite explain to me what was being considered.. maybe 'Avenues of Attack'?
Last sentence of S1.3: the phrase 'to establish an explicit goal in the provided 
level of protection' is indecipherable to me.
Section 3.4: The term 'cookie' is introduced with no explanation here.
Section 4: the first sentence contains a reference which has not been resolved 
to a section: <threats>.

I have a large number of suggestions of an editorial nature which I am sending 
directly to the authors and Thomas as a marked up copy.