Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-pres-02.txt
From: Spencer Dawkins
Date: 25 oktober 2004 

I'm reviewing this document as a Working Group Submission for
publication as an Informational RFC.

"Minor nits, but nothing that can't be fixed in AUTH-48".

The biggest thing is, and I'm embarrassed for saying this, "using
protocol" is enclosed in single quotes early in the document, but
isn't enclosed in quotes later, where it causes a mental parse error
("expecting verb/object, received adjective/noun") every single time
time! Can we include it in quotes at every occurrence? ... he said,
remembering the increasing awareness we have of ESL participants at
IETF ...

Beyond(?) this...

- "GEOPRIV is a standard ..." - well, maybe if we're feeling
  generous. The GEOPRIV working group has nine documents on their home
  page, and six of these are listed as IDs. Two are Informational
  RFCs, and one is a Proposed Standard (for a DHCP Option, so don't
  get excited). I've been saying that our standards track designation
  has been meaningless for a while now, so I understand completely,
  but GEOPRIV is not actually an IETF Standard, and (per 2026) won't
  be for at least 10 months AFTER it is published as a Proposed
  Standard. Assuming that it advances. Some PSes do. :-)

- At the very least, Section 1 should have a citation that points to what GEOPRIV actually IS.

- I saw on the IESG ballot that Russ was confused about the use of
  "GEOPRIV framework"/"GEOPRIV requirements" - he was not the only one
  :-)