Document: draft-ietf-16ng-ps-goals-03
Reviewer: Ben Campbell
Review Date:  10 December 2007
IETF LC End Date:  10 December 2007
IESG Telechat date: (if known)

Summary:

This document is almost ready for publication as an informational RFC.  
There are some editorial nits that should be addressed prior to publication.

Comments:

General: There are many occurrences of missing articles ("a", "an", or
"the") or the occasional use of an article where it does not belong.  
While I assume that the RFC editors will fix these, it would same them some work if you did an additional proofreading pass for this sort of thing.


Terminology Section, Definition of "Ethernet CS":

It would be helpful to have a reference for 802.16 STD.

Section 4.1, paragraph 7: "In the first point-to-point link model..."

I think you mean to refer to the first model in the preceding list, which is the point-to-point link model. The wording sounds like you mean the first of a set of point-to-point link models, which is incorrect. I suggest just dropping the word "first".

A similar issue occurs in paragraph 9 ("In the second Ethernet like link model...") and 11 ("The last shared IPv6 prefix link model")

Section 4.1, paragraph 9: "There needs mechanisms ..."

It looks like some words are missing from this sentence.



Section 4.1, paragraph 10, starting with "Moreover, the frequent IP multicast..."

I had trouble parsing this paragraph in general. Also, Is "IP subnet like ethernet" the same as "Ethernet like link model"?

Section 4.1, last paragraph:

"According to the point-to-point feature of 802.16's MAC, the Point-
    to-Point link model is the feasible IP Subnet model for IP CS under
    considering the multilink subnet problems. "

I cannot parse this sentence--please rephrase.