Document: draft-ejzak-sipping-p-em-auth-03.txt Reviewer: David L. Black Review Date: 27 May 2007 IETF LC End Date: 28 May 2007 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. Comments: The draft is in generally good shape. Most of these comments are minor, with the exception of the confusion in Section 4 about whether the motivating problem scenario is SIP-to-SIP vs. SIP-to-PSTN vs. SIP-to-SIP-to-PSTN (I think it's the latter, but I'm not sure). 1. Introduction Something is wrong with this text describing the use of the P-Early-Media header: ... to authorize the cut-through of backward and/or forward early media. The P-Early- Media header is intended for use in a SIP network, ... that prohibits the exchange of early media "prohibits" reads as an absolute prohibition. It should be changed to "otherwise prohibits", "prohibits by default", or something similar to avoid the implication that the prohibition is absolute. 2. Applicability Statement Please explain or cite a reference for the term "parallel forking". 3. Conventions and Acronyms Some of the acronym expansions ought to cite sources for the concept involved (e.g., ABNF is specified by RFC 4234). 4. Background on early media authorization This section (up to the start of 4.1) seems to be somewhat confused about whether the problem being described is a SIP-to-SIP problem vs. a SIP-to-PSTN problem. Most of the text is about the latter, so I suggest focusing on that and leaving the SIP-to-SIP material to the end of the section. OTOH, it may be that the actual problem structure is SIP-to-SIP-to-PSTN, in which case that is not at all clear from this text, and a diagram may be in order for clarity of exposition. 9. Formal syntax Add a note that not all combinations of multiple em-param elements are (semantically) valid. 10. Security Considerations Second paragraph of Section 2 (not suitable for inter-domain use or the Internet at large) should be repeated or referred to here. This section should be written with IMS as an example only. The sentence starting "In an IMS ..." and the sentence immediately following it need some minor editing to achieve this. Nits: ----- idnits 2.04.07 complains that there is no expiration date (first and last page) or intended status (first page).